Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
