Nicole vs. Life
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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