I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
