I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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