i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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