Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
