Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
