Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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