Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
