i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
