Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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