Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They took my balls.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
