I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
