Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
