I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
