Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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