he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
