I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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