Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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