Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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