I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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