Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
