I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
