Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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