I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
