Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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