You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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