so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
