Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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