he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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