He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
