i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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