I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
