I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize