We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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