no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
