turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
