I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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