Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
