What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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