I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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