i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Enjoy the penises
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
