The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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