my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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