he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
