Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize