i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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