I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
