I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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