I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
