yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
