I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
