did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize