You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
sex in a hospital.. check
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
