she kept yelling 'call me bella'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
