i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
